EL HOMBRE KNOWS SPORTS

Back in the day when Idi Amin Dada was unleashing unspeakable horrors on the poor Ugandan people, his buddies would get together to evaluate the most recent efforts of the man who dubbed himself “Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Seas and Conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in General and Uganda in Particular." As they no doubt shook their heads at the recent rounds of killings or Asian deportations, someone would probably say, “That’s just Idi being Idi.” Everyone would nod, and the discussion would continue, at least until Idi came around, and the supplication would commence.

Since the Ugandan President for Life ruled in the ‘70s, it’s unlikely his cronies used the very 21st-century phrase to excuse his abuses. More than likely, they heaped praise on him, in order to avoid being fed to the lions. Amin was a terrible despot, and his bloody acts are a stain on African history. He did, however, look good in a uniform.

Manny Ramirez looks pretty sharp in his Red Sox togs, too, provided you favor the pajama look. With his baggy trousers extending to the bottom of his cleats and ample posterior cut providing plenty of breathing room, Ramirez looks ready at all times for a nap. It’s too bad he wasn’t taking one last Saturday in Houston, when he decided to go WWE on 60-something Boston traveling secretary Jack McCormick. Seems Ramirez wasn’t too happy when McCormick informed him that asking for 16 tickets to a sold-out ballgame just a few hours before the first pitch was a bit unreasonable. Ramirez told McCormick to “do his job,” a directive which didn’t go down so well with the ex-cop. A brief argument ensued, followed by Ramirez’s throwing McCormick to the ground. Afterward, some of his apologists tried to dismiss the assault with the catch-all phrase designed to explain Ramirez’s usual misbehavior:

“Just Manny being Manny.”

No, this was Manny being a boorish bully, the kind of musclebound cretin who believes force is the way to approach any situation that doesn’t go his way immediately. Forget the age difference between the men – about 30 years – for a moment. That Ramirez had it in him to lay hands on somebody whose only “sin” was informing him that his outlandish request was, well, outlandish and then taking umbrage at backsass, reveals all you need to know about the man. If violence is bubbling that close to his surface, he is dangerously unstable. His cheerful Manny façade disguises this to an extent, but incidents like this demonstrate his true capabilities.

Bullies have been menacing folks for as long as the gene pool has bestowed physical prowess on humans, so Ramirez’s cowardly act of force dates back to the days when hulking Glorg bashed elfin Progon on the head for expecting an equal helping of mastodon meat. What makes this thing so disgraceful is the Red Sox response. Instead of suspending Ramirez for his jack-booted thuggery or at the very least fining him, they “handled it internally,” which is athletic code for: “We don’t want to cheese off our highly-paid slugger, especially with our other highly-paid slugger on the DL, so we’re going to extract a disingenuous ‘apology’ from him and carry on.” Keep this in mind should Sawx manager Terry Francona or GM Theo Epstein publish a book on leadership. Both, along with the team’s principal owner, John Henry, abdicated their authority by allowing Ramirez to keep playing.

Worse, their insouciance has forced McCormick into the unnecessary role of cause celebre, to the point, where he is saying things like, “I just want it to die.” He should be protected from this by his employer, which owes him the respect and courage to handle this in a professional manner. McCormick has been shamed by Ramirez’s action and marginalized by the team’s tepid response. He is the aggrieved party. He is the victim. He does not need to be explaining what happened or telling everybody how “there’s no animosity on my part.” McCormick needed Boston to show the conviction necessary to slap down a $20 million ballplayer who was way out of line. The assault – and make no mistake about it; this was an assault – may have lasted only a few seconds, but it was a violent reminder to McCormick and any other Boston employee that their safety is always in question around the players and that there is inadequate backup from their superiors.

Contrast Boston’s response with that of the Astros, just a few days earlier. When pitcher Shawn Chacon threw GM Ed Wade to the ground in the Houston team dining room, after refusing to attend a meeting with Wade and team manager Cecil Cooper, he was waived. The team used the word “insubordination” to describe his crime, and it was the perfect description. Chacon had disobeyed a request from his boss and then assaulted him. So long. Chacon wasn’t helped by his recent demotion to the bullpen and general sub-standard pitching over the past several weeks. Guess it’s easier to do the right thing when the player in question isn’t an All-Star, isn’t it? The Players’ Union may raise a stink, but El Hombre thinks the Astros will be vindicated. At least they had better be.

Meanwhile, Ramirez goes about his business happily in Sawxland. He has been scolded behind closed doors, and that’s that. McCormick is left to smile and talk about his friendship with Ramirez, all the while knowing that if this happened on the streets of Boston, the outfielder would be facing some charges. Perhaps it’s for the best. If Ramirez had been suspended, some clueless Sawx fans would direct a backlash at McCormick, accusing him of costing the team the services of its 500-club slugger, when in reality it was Ramirez who was completely responsible.

The only good news to follow this debacle is that Boston has lost five in a row since Manny was Manny in the clubhouse. If the Sawx don’t have the fortitude to do what’s right, perhaps The Fates will intercede.

Go Tampa!

EL HOMBRE SEZ: Now that Baron Davis has signed a long-term deal to join the Clippers, you know what’s going to happen. He played all 82 games with the Warriors last year, the first time since ’01-02 he has been on the court for more than 63 (and often far fewer). El Hombre wishes Davis the best, but that bad Clippers Mojo might just infect him. Over/under for games played this season: 60…Speaking of the NBA, how about that Sonics move to Oklahoma City? What’s next for the league, an expansion team in Shreveport? Guess David Stern is taking pointers about franchise placement from his former underling, NHL boss Gary Bettman, who hasn’t met a small market he didn’t love…Can Alex Rodriguez do anything right? Sure, the man hits the baseball as well as anyone, but his personal life is a mess. First, a stripper in Tronno last year. Now, Madonna and reports of a divorce. Who’s giving him advice, Amy Winehouse?…NFL commissioner Roger Goodell gave us a sneak preview of a major issue in the upcoming labor negotiations when he called gigantic rookie contracts “ridiculous.” Good work, Rog. There’s no way a first-round pick should be getting $20-30 mil guaranteed when he hasn’t done anything on the NFL level. Teams should save that to spend on overrated wide receiver divas and overhyped defensive linemen.